Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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