Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
