I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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