1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
