i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
