Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
