He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
