so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I think people are normalizing furries
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
