I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
