Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
