I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Dignity is for republicans.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
