@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Mom said you looked used
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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