hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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