Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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