he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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