I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
