I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
