Dual....:-)
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
