That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
