For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Come on in and take your pants off
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