Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
