make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
