now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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