i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
