she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
