Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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