I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
