Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
