how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
