i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
