I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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