I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
