Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I am available for nakedness
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
