Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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