remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
we're so committed to being not committed
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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