Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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