so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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