My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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