Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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