i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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