Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
