Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
