remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I need to calm my uterus...
You ruined the universe
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
