If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
