dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
