I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
