3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Randomize
