You're completely useless in the revolution.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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