he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
This baby is an asshole
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
