Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
